Pirate

Pirate

I've wanted to be a pirate,

for my entire life.

I told my mom,

but she said it would just lead to strife.

"You'd have to cut off a leg,

and wear one of wood.

You wouldn't be able to run,

or play ball very good."

"You'd have to poke out your eye,

and wear a black patch.

You couldn't swing a bat very well,

and forget playing catch."

"You'd need to chop off your hand,

and put on a rusty hook."

You couldn't play football.

You could just stand there and look."

"Then you'd need a smelly parrot,

to ride your shoulder.

And you know you can't have a pet,

until you're much older.

"You'd have to live on a ship,

that was always on the ocean.

And remember how your stomach is,

with any rocking motion?"

"You'd never have to take a bath.

That wouldn't bother you.

But you'd have plenty of enemies,

and your friends would be few."

"Why have you wanted to be a pirate,

for your entire life?"

"Well you see mom,

I just really, really... want to eat with a knife."

Trouble Brewing

Trouble Brewing

Simmer four cups

of sneaking around.

Add some spying,

about one pound.

Get three sharp sticks,

and seven heavy rocks.

Mix them in with six pairs

of dirty socks.

Add one box of tacks,

and five rubber bands.

Stir in some firecrackers,

you'll need ten strands.

Hard to get,

but lots of fun,

are rotten eggs.

Add at least one.

A slingshot

enhances the flavor,

and super glue

is like a spice to savor!

Stir over medium heat,

'til it starts to bubble.

And that, my friend,

is how you make trouble! 

Paul

Paul

My Grandpa Skip,

likes chips and dip.

My Grandma Ellen,

likes watermelon.

My Aunt Betty,

likes spaghetti.

My Uncle Bert,

likes dessert.

My cousin Tony,

likes bologna.

My neighbor Ned,

likes french bread.

My mother Pam,

likes leg of lamb.

My dad Pete,

likes lunch meat.

My sister Lucille,

likes oatmeal.

But my brother Paul,

likes them all!

There's a Dragon In My Wagon

There's a Dragon In My Wagon

There's a dragon in my wagon,

and it's hard to pull.

It's a heavy load,

because my wagon's just so full.

There's a dragon in my wagon,

and a picnic lunch.

Forks, knives, glasses,

and a pitcher of punch.

There's a dragon in my wagon.

We also have sunscreen,

a picnic blanket,

and wipes to keep our hands clean.

There's a dragon in my wagon,

a volleyball and a net.

We're gonna have a good time

and on that, you can bet.

There's a dragon in my wagon.

We're off to the picnic ground!

And when people see my dragon...

I don't think anyone will stick around!

The Brick

The Brick

I'm just one brick,

and I'm pretty small.

But stack up lot's of us,

and you'll have yourself a wall!

Larry

Larry

A squeaky old hinge,

gives me a twinge.

A rusty old gate,

gives me a quiver I hate.

A creaky old stair,

gives me quite a scare.

A bump in the night,

really gives me a fright.

Wind through a shutter,

makes me shiver and shudder.

A spooky old door,

frightens me even more.

But nothing is near as scary,

as my cousin- "Lump-Nose" Larry!

Crackers

Crackers

I've got a frog in my throat,

and the cat's got my tongue.

There's bats in my belfry,

and I'm still so young!

I'm quiet as a mouse,

even though I want to monkey around.

But I'm too busy scratchin' fleas,

like an old blue tick hound!

I have a charlie horse in my leg,

and in my hair, a cow-lick.

There's butterflies in my belly,

and I think I'm gonna be sick!

There's a bee in my bonnet,

and my ducky-pond is just full of quackers.

I'm feeling kind of crabby.

Oh, why did I eat all those animal crackers!?