tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65151745832852073632024-02-19T23:12:56.623-08:00Poems and RibosomesFlominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-44294274325613543482015-08-25T21:50:00.000-07:002015-08-25T21:50:57.921-07:00Pick Up Lines<b><u>Pick Up Lines</u></b><br />
<br />
It was just me<br />
cruisin' the street<br />
lookin' for a girl to meet.<br />
<br />
I was in my truck<br />
and with any luck<br />
I'd fill my passenger seat.<br />
<br />
I saw you sittin'<br />
at the bus stop<br />
on a bench lookin' for a ride to hop.<br />
<br />
I liked what I saw<br />
so I sang out loud:<br />
<br />
"Girl if you were a song<br />
I'd play you all night long<br />
by hittin' repeat on my stereo."<br />
<br />
"Girl if you were a snack<br />
I'd keep the whole pack<br />
by me on the seat wherever I go."<br />
<br />
They're bright as my paint<br />
and my rims that shine<br />
a sure fire bet...<br />
they're my pick up lines!<br />
<br />
It was just me<br />
cruisin' the street<br />
lookin' for a girl to meet.<br />
<br />
I was in my truck<br />
and with any luck<br />
I'd fill my passenger seat.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I saw you standin'</div>
<div>
with a group of girls</div>
<div>
the breeze blowin' your pretty brown curls.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I liked what I saw</div>
<div>
so I sang out loud:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Girl if you were a star</div>
<div>
I'd watch you from afar</div>
<div>
layin' in the bed of my 4x4."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Girl if you were a game</div>
<div>
I'd holler out your name</div>
<div>
at a tailgate party with each score."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They're bright as my paint<br />
and my rims that shine<br />
a sure fire bet...<br />
they're my pick up lines!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It was just me<br />
cruisin' the street<br />
lookin' for a girl to meet.<br />
<br />
I was in my truck<br />
and with any luck<br />
I'd fill my passenger seat.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I saw you drivin'</div>
<div>
in the other lane</div>
<div>
drivin' a coupe and drivin' me insane!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I liked what I saw</div>
<div>
so I sang out loud:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Girl if you were a hill</div>
<div>
I'd climb like Jack and Jill</div>
<div>
on all four of my mud boggin' tires."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Girl if you were a light</div>
<div>
in the woods burning bright</div>
<div>
in my headlights you'd be my campfire."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They're bright as my paint<br />
and my rims that shine<br />
a sure fire bet...<br />
they're my pick up lines!</div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-5990259281245543742013-04-03T20:34:00.001-07:002016-03-13T15:45:04.955-07:00Well, I Think It's FunnyI walked past the sorcery shop today. The mystic was outside and she said, "Are you going to the psychic fair this weekend?" I said, "I don't know. You tell me."<br />
<br />
I was nauseous, had a fever, body aches and was fatigued. I feel better now though. I went to the rifle range and had my flu shot.<br />
<br />
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.<br />
<br />
If you want a nice sarcophagus, you have to urn it.<br />
<br />
With all these medicine commercials everywhere, I feel like I'm in Adville!<br />
<br />
I'm not playing records anymore. And that's vinyl.<br />
<br />
I was looking for land in a real estate book. I found lots.<br />
<br />
I asked my dad if he'd take me to the horse races. He said, "You bet!"<br />
<br />
They were passing out bodies at the morgue. It was a dead give away.<br />
<br />
I bought a portrait of George Washington. It was just a buck.<br />
<br />
Can you wake up on the wrong side... of a round bed?<br />
<br />
Police search empty murder scene. There was no body there.<br />
<br />
There's a typhoon predicted. It's the wave of the future.<br />
<br />
I'm drinking pop cause I'm soda thirsty.<br />
<br />
When it comes to passing a drug test- I'm a whiz.<br />
<br />
I'm studying classical music. I think I've got a Handel on it.<br />
<br />
My friend has a successful rock quarry but he never takes it for granite.<br />
<br />
I was ignorant. I just didn't know it.<br />
<br />
I spilled coffee on my computer. It was a java update.<br />
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<br />Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-60288000746900765102013-03-17T21:03:00.001-07:002016-03-06T21:11:55.930-08:00Hero HeadlinesSuperman Buys New Home. It's on Lois Lane.<br />
<br />
Spiderman Facing Drug Charges. Caught With Mary Jane.<br />
<br />
Peter Pan Tries Fast Food. Loves Wendy's.<br />
<br />
Batman Sees First Sign of Spring. A Robin.<br />
<br />
Incredible Hulk Advocates For Planet. Goes Green.<br />
<br />
Robin Hood Gets Stuck in Bathroom. It was a Little John.<br />
<br />
Han Solo Releases Own Brand of Bubble Gum. It's Chewy.<br />
<br />
Lone Ranger Invests In Precious Metal. It's Silver.<br />
<br />
Keebler Elves Hunted By Hounds. Get Treed.<br />
<br />
Jack The Giant Killer's Ex-Girlfriend Files Restraining Order. For Stalking.<br />
<br />
Humpty Dumpty Loves Summer. Doesn't Look Forward To Fall.<br />
<br />
Donald Duck Passes Out At Party. Got Slipped A Mickey.<br />
<br />
Life Cereal Gets a Facebook Page. Mikey Likes It.<br />
<br />
Michelin Man Suffers From Insomnia. He's Tired.<br />
<br />
Julie Andrews Sink Backs Up. Calls Christopher Plummer.<br />
<br />
Forest Gump Sues Shrimping Boat Partner. Lt. Dan Doesn't Have a Leg To Stand On.<br />
<br />
Albert Einstien Uses Scientific Method To Trace His Heritage. It's His Theory Of Relativity.<br />
<br />
Pinnochio undergoes cosmetic surgery. Gets a Nose Job.<br />
<br />
Aragorn and Arwin Announce Wedding Plans. Frodo To Be Ringbearer.<br />
<br />
Lance Armstrong Stripped of Cycling Titles for Cheating. What a Dope.<br />
<br />
Wesley and Buttercup Can't Have Children. Inconceivable.<br />
<br />
Mr. T. Declares April 1st as National Empathy Day. He Pities The Fool.<br />
<br />
Marshall Matt Dylan Has To Put Family Cat Down. He Will Miss Kitty.<br />
<br />
Popeye Fries Eggs In Butter Substitute. Olive Oil.<br />
<br />
Anne Shirley becomes pals with lingerie shop owner. They're bosom friends.<br />
<br />
Kermit the Frog is Love Sick. Has Swine Flu.<br />
<br />
Little Red Riding Hood Snitches Goodies From Grandma's Basket. Wolfs them down.<br />
<br />
Blind Melon Fails at Dry Land Farming. No Rain.<br />
<br />
John Travolta Gets Stain On His Shirt. It's Grease<br />
<br />
Garth Brooks Visits Set Of Little People, Big World. He's Got Friends In Low Places.<br />
<br />
Charles Dickens Creates A New Dance. It's The Oliver Twist.<br />
<br />
Eddie Haskell Dies A Rich Man. His Estate? He'll Leave It To Beaver.<br />
<br />
Red Hot Chili Peppers Bankrupt And Homeless. Living Under The Bridge Downtown.<br />
<br />
I Have Some Rumors About Nirvana... Nevermind<br />
<br />
Eminem. Is He A Candy Rapper?<br />
<br />
Milli Vanilli Washed Out. They Blame It On The Rain.<br />
<br />
In Final Interview General George Custer Proclaims: "I kill Indians... So Sioux Me."<br />
<br />
Cheech and Chong Release Horticulture Book, "Weed; Your Garden"<br />
<br />
Hagrid Takes Up Making Mugs Out Of Clay. He's A Hairy Potter.<br />
<br />
Bill Clinton Trapped Inside Garage With Car Running. Rescuers Find Him Okay. He Didn't Inhale.<br />
<br />
Paternity Test Proves Darth Vader Is The Father. Forced To Pay Child Support.<br />
<br />
Waldo Begins Zen Meditation. Finds Himself.<br />
<br />
Suicide Bomber Targets Olive Oil Factory. Hoping For Extra Virgin.<br />
<br />
Paparazzi Shows Up At Neverland. Michael Jackson tells them to beat it.<br />
<br />
Hannibal Lecter Shuns Clarice By Serving Her Leftovers. Gives Her The Cold Shoulder.<br />
<br />
Mr. Ed to Mr. Rogers: "Won't You Be My Neighhh-bor?"<br />
<br />
Barney Fife Gives Aunt Bea A Gardening Tip: Nip It In The Bud.<br />
<br />
Pilsbury Dough-Boy Attacked By Thugs. Get's Rolled.<br />
<br />
Madonna Opens Fabric Store. She's A Material Girl.<br />
<br />
Mike Tyson Is An Incessant Talker. He'll Chew Your Ear Off.<br />
<br />
Dr. Seuss' Favorite Band? The Who.<br />
<br />
OJ Simpson Loses Isotoner Endorsement To Dan Marino. The Gloves Didn't Fit.<br />
<br />
Mark Antony To Vincent Van Gogh: "Lend Me Your Ear".<br />
<br />
Natalie Merchant Opens Massive Psychiatric Hospital. It Will House 10,000 Maniacs.<br />
<br />
Marilyn Monroe Involved In Sidewalk Explosion. Her Dress Blew Up In Her Face.<br />
<br />
Hulk Hogan Comments On Recent Shirt Prices. "They're A Rip Off!"<br />
<br />
The Song, "Do You Believe In Life After Love" Fails On Facebook. No One Will Cher It.<br />
<br />
Peter Gabriel Sells Pedro A Bike. It's A Sledgehammer.<br />
<br />
Bill Gates Is Retired And Bored. He Just Sits And Stares Out His Windows.<br />
<br />
Arnold Schwarzenegger Gets Good News From Oncologist. It's Not A Tumor.<br />
<br />
Stevie Nicks Overwhelmingly Wins The Election. It Was A Landslide.<br />
<br />
Davy Crockett Hears A Rustle In The Bushes. It Was Georgie. <br />
<br />
Toto Tinkles On The Sidewalk. Now It's A Yellow Brick Road.<br />
<br />
Dustin Diamond Stops Suddenly... Screech!<br />
<br />
Clarence Rutherford won't eat his oatmeal. It's Lumpy.<br />
<br />
Tracy Chapman Likes Mario Andretti. He Has A Fast Car.<br />
<br />
Time's Running Out, The Bronco's Are Ahead. Tebow, Of Course... Takes A Knee.<br />
<br />
Howie Mandel Hates Germs. He's Mr. Clean.<br />
<br />
Sigmund Freud Does His Laundry. Shrinks it all.<br />
<br />
Oscar The Grouch Suspended From Sesame Street For Talking Too Much Trash.<br />
<br />
The Wallflowers Get Pulled Over. One Headlight.<br />
<br />
Police Secretary: "Officer Joe Friday, Do You Want All Of Your Messages?" "Just the fax ma'am."<br />
<br />
Duran Duran Return Their Sweater. It's Come Undone.<br />
<br />
AC/DC Turn Their Finances Around. They Are Back In Black.<br />
<br />
Snow Patrol's Dog Kenneled For Chasing Cars.<br />
<br />
Aaron Carter, What Do You Want In Your Birthday Pinata? "I Want Candy!"<br />
<br />
The Pretenders Commit Another Felony. They're Back On The Chain Gang.<br />
<br />
"Have A Nice Day, Bono." "You Too."<br />
<br />
Louis Armstrong Undergoes Cataract Surgery. He Can See Clearly Now.<br />
<br />
Alaska Has A Great Recycling Program. Especially In Ketchikan.<br />
<br />
Octomom Gets Government Job At Department Of Labor.<br />
<br />
They Needed A Sketch Of The Suspect. So Nancy Drew.<br />
<br />
King George And His High Class Court Found The American Colonists Revolting.<br />
<br />
Vanilla Ice Releases Greatest Hits Album. It's A Single.<br />
<br />
Tears For Fears Fall Down The Stairs. Go Head Over Heels.<br />
<br />
Clint Eastwood To His Scheduling Agent, "Go Ahead, Make My Day."<br />
<br />
Satisfied With The Food And Service, Arnold Schwarzenegger Tells The Restaurant Manager: "I'll Be Back."<br />
<br />
Tom Petty Has Restless Leg Syndrome. He's Running Down A Dream.<br />
<br />
Sarah Palin Hosts Mid-Morning Get Together. It's A Tea Party.<br />
<br />
Arnold Palmer Has To Buy New Shoes. He Got A Hole In One.<br />
<br />
Fat Albert Died. Planning The Funeral Will Be A Huge Undertaking.<br />
<br />
Tigger Wrote A Check. It Bounced.<br />
<br />
Alanis Morissette Hangs Up From Customer Service And Says: "Thank You India".<br />
<br />
Lieutenant Dan Could Not Go To The Concert. There Was Standing Room Only.<br />
<br />
Karl Marx Lies Abouts Contents Of Energy Drink. It's A Bunch Of Red Bull.<br />
<br />
Mahatma Ghandi Blessed My Burger. Holy Cow.<br />
<br />
The Pope Blessed My Cigarettes. Holy Smokes.<br />
<br />
George Thorogood Contracts Gangrene. He's Bad To The Bone.<br />
<br />
Bob Marley Continually Cited For Violation Of City Ordinance. He Can't Keep Off The Grass.<br />
<br />
Paula Deen Heads For Speech Therapy. Not For Southern Drawl But For Racial Slur.<br />
<br />
Quasimodo Punches Judge Frollo. Rings His Bell.<br />
<br />
Janet Jackson's Post Super Bowl Interview Was Very Revealing.<br />
<br />
Chad Kroeger Asks For His Change. Gets A Nickel Back.<br />
<br />
The Dream Police Woke Me Up Early. What A Cheap Trick.<br />
<br />
Twisted Sister Comments On Their Monthly Shower: "We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore!"<br />
<br />
Maytag Man Fixes A Stove Top. He's Really In His Element.<br />
<br />
John Elway Gets A Large Explosive Device. It's A Long Bomb.<br />
<br />
Jerry Rice Takes Up Scuba Diving. Goes Deep.<br />
<br />
Compelled To Pursue A Career In Communications, Alexander Graham Bell Answers The Call.<br />
<br />
Before Eating An Oreo, Michael Jordan Dunks It.<br />
<br />
Even After Sustaining Serious Injuries, Tony Stewart Vows To Return To Racing. He's That Driven.<br />
<br />
Adam Decides To Change His Underwear. Turns Over A New Leaf.<br />
<br />
Kellogg's Elves Fall Into Trash Compactor. Snap, Crackle, Pop.<br />
<br />
Prepubescent, Long Haired Eddie Vedder To His Near-Sighted Father" "Don't Call Me Daughter."<br />
<br />
The Doobie Brothers Move To The Next Step In Recycling Program. They're Taking It To The Street.<br />
<br />
Michael Phelps Wins Gold, After Gold, After Gold, After Gold... Sounds Like A Broken Record.<br />
<br />
Billy Graham Reveals His Trick To Hold Up His Pants... It's The Bible Belt.<br />
<br />
When Asked If He Was Too Sexy: "Right," Said Fred.<br />
<br />
Johnny Cash Beats Field Sobriety Test. He Walks The Line.<br />
<br />
George Foreman Goes Back To School. Hits The Books.<br />
<br />
Dr. Scholls Walks the Straight And Narrow. He Wants To Save His Sole.<br />
<br />
Mary Lou Retton Wins Gold. Flips Out.<br />
<br />
Gary Coleman Doesn't Know What Willis Is Talking About. He's Stumped.<br />
<br />
Colonel Sanders Swerves At The Last Second. Chickens Out.<br />
<br />
Edward Snowden Sneaks Into His Neighbors Bathroom. Takes A Leak.<br />
<br />
Pat Sajak Calls Hooked On Phonics. Buys A Vowel.<br />
<br />
Tonya Harding Endorses Auto Accessory. It's The Club.<br />
<br />
Greg Louganis Loves '80's Metal. He's A Real Headbanger.<br />
<br />
Pinocchio Lies. Gepetto Knows It.<br />
<br />
Pinocchio Enters A Horse Race. Wins By A Nose.<br />
<br />
The Byrds Drive Towards A Cliff. "Turn, turn, turn!!!"<br />
<br />
Jeff Probst Doesn't Need A Flu Shot. He Has Immunity.<br />
<br />
"Homer Simpson, Bread Is Not Made From Batter." "Doh!"<br />
<br />
Knight Rider Revues Napoleon Dynamite. Raves about Kip.<br />
<br />
Lizzie Borden Hides The Murder Weapon. Buries The Axe.<br />
<br />
Pat Benatar To The Bartender: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot".<br />
<br />
Oscar The Grouch Gets Mad. Flips His Lid.<br />
<br />
Robert Downy Jr. Presses His Clothes. He's Iron Man.<br />
<br />
The Culligan Man Is On The Cover Of GQ. He's A Tall Drink Of Water.<br />
<br />
As A Child Elton John Was Underdeveloped And In Ballet. He Was A Tiny Dancer.<br />
<br />
Goliath Blacks Out At Work. He Was Stoned.<br />
<br />
Bread Rises Quickly To The Top Of The Music Charts.<br />
<br />
Twiggy's Chances Of Having A Successful Music Career Are Pretty Slim.<br />
<br />
Jerome Bettis Utilizes Public Transit. Takes The Bus.<br />
<br />
Kirby Vacuum Stocks Plummet. That Sucks.<br />
<br />
Noah's Car Won't Start. He Flooded It.<br />
<br />
Jimmy Hoffa Goes To Marriage Counselling. He Wants A Better Union.<br />
<br />
The Gordon Fisherman Goes Over His Books. He's Pleased With His Net Profits.<br />
<br />
Johnny Appleseed Heads Up Orchard Operations. He's The Branch Manager.]<br />
<br />
The Cranberries Refuse To Light A Match. They Have To Let It Linger.<br />
<br />
Rip Van Winkle Has Too Much To Drink. Sleeps It Off.<br />
<br />
Johnny Appleseed Inventories Orchards. Uses Common Core.<br />
<br />
The Invisible Man Is Outraged About Obamacare. After Sitting In The Waiting Room 8 Hours- The Doctor Still Couldn't See Him.<br />
<br />
Bob Segar Is Perfecting His Chess Game. He's Working On His Knight Moves.<br />
<br />
Micheal McDonald Needs To Take Notes. He Keeps Forgetting.<br />
<br />
Queen Elizabeth Has A Kink In Her Neck. It's A Royal Pain.<br />
<br />
The Pied Piper Showers Daily. He's Clean As A Whistle.<br />
<br />
Payton Manning Set To Retire In... Omaha!<br />
<br />
Elvis Can't Open His Pop. They're All Shook Up.<br />
<br />
Bernie Sander's Advice. It's Free.<br />
<br />
If Hillary's Elected She'll Handle Policy. Bill Will Handle The Interns.<br />
<br />
Even Though Donald Trump Could Have Gotten A Free Haircut, He Still Decided Toupee.<br />
<br />
Before Applicants Can Be Employed At Bill Cosby's Dating Service, They Must Pass A Drug Test.<br />
<br />
The Donald Trump Action Figures Have Been Recalled. The Parts Are Too Small.<br />
<br />
John Mayer Searches The Lost And Found. Something's Missing.<br />
<br />
Father Laurence Opens An Olde English Boardwalk Seafood Stand. He's A Fish Fryer.<br />
<br />
Dave Matthews Wants To Irrigate His Garden. He's Digging A Ditch.<br />
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Coldplay Contracted Jaundice. They're All Yellow.<br />
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<br />Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-19660731895139577632013-02-03T21:22:00.000-08:002013-02-03T21:22:50.254-08:00First Story<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>First Story</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One hundred and forty four chicken gizzards. That's gross!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Definitely don't inhale and don't stand too close.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you forget your lines at a wedding speech? You're toast!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just hope you can talk your way out of it with the host.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you swallow a magazine down whole? Just digest!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then don't eat for a while, give your stomach a rest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm so sorry you're ill down a long deep shaft. Get well!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You just might not be sick if down there- you hadn't fell.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You've got some fish on the bottom of your shoe. That's sole!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where'd you pick it up, down at your secret fishin' hole?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did you find dirt in your campfire coffee? It's ground!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now just cowboy on up, drink it, and don't make a sound.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I learned to read on the school's ground floor. First story!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Helping others love reading? That's a crowning glory.</div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-6120944280903905822012-09-22T08:11:00.005-07:002012-09-22T08:12:12.983-07:00The Big Dance<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u>The Big Dance</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There's a big dance,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
being held in town tonight.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm going to it,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and want everything right.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A very special lady,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I just might meet.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I need to look sharp,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and be light on my feet.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I pressed my best shirt,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and got the wrinkles out.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I slicked my dark hair back,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
with oil of trout.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I matched my argyle socks,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
and shined each shoe.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
They glimmered as bright</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
as early morning dew.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I rolled the fuzzy lint,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
off my blue blazer.</div>
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I shaved my face,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
with my electric razor.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I put a Windsor knot,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
in my bright red tie.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I dabbed on cologne,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
what a sharp lookin' guy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I showed up on time,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
in very high style.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I walked inside,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
people started to smile.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Actually they laughed.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I showed up at the dance,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I thought I was set…</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but I forgot my pants!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-62498878750211240702012-07-01T08:01:00.000-07:002015-03-28T12:23:37.413-07:00Write It Right, Again<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Write It Right, Again</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It hurts to get taller,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so you groan cause you've grown.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
After the queen pitches her chair,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
she's thrown the throne.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you drown in food coloring,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you die in dye.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When you wave from a ladder,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you say "hi" from high.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A boy lion's primary hair,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is his main mane.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
An arrogant artery,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is a vein that's vain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When a vaulter votes,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
he takes his pole to the poll.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A baby horse that's done eating,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is a full foal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Chopping your after dinner treats?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You mince your mints.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Evidence of the king's son?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The prints of the prince.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you've canoed the highway,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you've rowed on the road.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you dragged a reptile,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
then you towed a toad.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you carry a corridor,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you haul a hall.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shopping with your wedge?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You take your maul to the mall.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Buy a fresh wildebeest,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you'll have a gnu that's new.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A plane ride when you were sick?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You flew with the flu.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Poking your teacher politely,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you tacked with tact.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you toted the agreement,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you packed the pact.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You're tired on a hilltop,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so nap on the knap.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because of that,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'll just quickly- wrap up this rap.</div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-12973173206103835122012-06-30T22:24:00.000-07:002012-06-30T22:24:08.118-07:00Underweight Nate<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>Underweight Nate</b></u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b><br /></b></u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Down by the tracks,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
near a rotten log,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I found a poor,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
starving puppy dog.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He was sick and scruffy,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hoped I wasn't too late,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I took him home,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and called him Underweight Nate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I gave Nate a bath,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and brushed out his fur,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
he no longer looked,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
like a mangy cur.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I wanted to feed him,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so we went to the kitchen,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I tell ya, for some food,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that boy was itchin'!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I gave him beef stew,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
sausage and eggs,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
crackers and cheese,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and some turkey legs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
He filled up on bacon,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and a ham bone,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I gave him pasta,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and an ice cream cone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This went on,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for a month or so,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and now Nate's belly,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
was starting to show.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cared for the health,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
of my new little pup,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so I took him to the vet,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for a check-up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The vet said, "Change <i>her</i> name,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and feed her something leafy."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So it's cabbage and lettuce now...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for Beefy Fifi.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-26821502200236429242012-06-30T14:13:00.000-07:002012-06-30T14:13:04.050-07:00A Place To Play<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>A Place To Play</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b><br />
It was a place to play,<br />
with trucks and cars,<br />
buckets and boats and mason jars.<br />
<br />
We built castles with moats,<br />
and drawbridges,<br />
high atop great mountain ridges.<br />
<br />
We would dig deep ditches,<br />
and long tunnels,<br />
then fill with hoses and funnels.<br />
<br />
We'd carve out a deep pit,<br />
and fill with brew,<br />
and dance around like witches do.<br />
<br />
With some firecrackers,<br />
we could explode,<br />
toy soldiers like a landmine load.<br />
<br />
We were not very rich,<br />
but rather poor,<br />
and this can't be bought in a store.<br />
<br />
Now as I'm thinking back,<br />
I'm happy still,<br />
cause I grew up... with a dirt hill.</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-10373684751839512552012-03-28T20:18:00.000-07:002012-03-28T20:18:12.692-07:00Sock<div align="center"><strong><u>Sock</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Ever get a hole,</div><div align="center">in the toe of your sock?</div><div align="center">Or in the heel?</div><div align="center">It's quite hard to walk.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Your toe gets cold.</div><div align="center">Your heel gets sweaty.</div><div align="center">To throw that sock away,</div><div align="center">you are ready.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">But it is certainly,</div><div align="center">not very funny,</div><div align="center">to waste a whole bunch,</div><div align="center">of hard earned money.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">You decide to mend it,</div><div align="center">to save a dime.</div><div align="center">It can't be that hard,</div><div align="center">it should take no time.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">You pick up a sharp needle,</div><div align="center">and some good strong thread,</div><div align="center">but by the time you thread it,</div><div align="center">you're practically dead!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">So you get some yarn,</div><div align="center">and two needles to knit it,</div><div align="center">after what seems like a year,</div><div align="center">you just forget it.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">You decide to skip,</div><div align="center">all the thread and yarn.</div><div align="center">You toss the sock in the trash,</div><div align="center">and say, "Darn!"</div><div align="center"><br />
</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-72426627787422725852012-03-28T18:47:00.000-07:002012-03-28T18:47:27.125-07:00Uncle Vern<div align="center"><strong><u>Uncle Vern</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">They're bushy as a brier,</div><div align="center">and bright red as a fire,</div><div align="center">sticking out like a sore thumb.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">They're strong as a Velcro strap,</div><div align="center">in the wind they flop and flap,</div><div align="center">which causes an eerie hum.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">They're napkins at the table,</div><div align="center">or where ever they're able,</div><div align="center">to stop each morsel and crumb.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">A pirate couldn't grow these,</div><div align="center">or a trucker named Louise,</div><div align="center">but maybe a tough street bum.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">They could be a fishing net,</div><div align="center">on this you can surely bet,</div><div align="center">you'd catch fewer fish with chum.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">You ask:</div><div align="center">What are these, pretty please?</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">We say:</div><div align="center">They're Uncle Vern's... side-burns!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-87407839048718230632012-03-22T20:12:00.000-07:002012-03-22T20:12:18.206-07:00Too Soon June<div align="center"><strong><u>Too Soon June</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before the others,</div><div align="center">start to run,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June,</div><div align="center">always jumps the gun.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before the others,</div><div align="center">sing and shout,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June,</div><div align="center">blows her candles out.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before there's a worm,</div><div align="center">on her hook,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June,</div><div align="center">casts out in the brook.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before her bread,</div><div align="center">can even toast,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June's</div><div align="center">eaten it almost.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before her shoes,</div><div align="center">are on just right,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June's,</div><div align="center">got them laced up tight.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Before this poem,</div><div align="center">can come to age,</div><div align="center">Too Soon June's...</div><div align="center">turned the page.</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-92004476548559816232012-03-22T19:47:00.000-07:002012-03-22T19:47:01.445-07:00It's Dangerous To...<div align="center"><strong><u>It's Dangerous To...</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Everyone knows,</div><div align="center">it's dangerous to...</div><div align="center">run with scissors,</div><div align="center">but it's also true...</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Not to dance,</div><div align="center">with a toothbrush in your mouth.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Or chase geese,</div><div align="center">when they are migrating south.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Do not jog,</div><div align="center">on gravel without your shoes.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Or ride bikes,</div><div align="center">in church on the backs of pews.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Do not fish,</div><div align="center">in a rickety old boat.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Or tease a,</div><div align="center">fat, grumpy, old billy goat.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Do not climb,</div><div align="center">a tree with rotten branches.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Or play tag,</div><div align="center">in barns on run down ranches.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">No, don't do these,</div><div align="center">not a single one.</div><div align="center">Unless of course,</div><div align="center">you want to have fun!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-39932667672851966392012-03-22T19:32:00.000-07:002012-03-22T19:32:09.479-07:00A Dreadful Condition<div align="center"><strong><u>A Dreadful Condition</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It happens suddenly,</div><div align="center">when you least expect,</div><div align="center">kind of like a bit of,</div><div align="center">whiplash in the neck.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's quite painful,</div><div align="center">and it will surprise you,</div><div align="center">just be glad that,</div><div align="center">it won't paralyze you.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's face wrenching,</div><div align="center">like hot mustard spice,</div><div align="center">and you feel like,</div><div align="center">your head's in a vice.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Ice cream cones, popsicles, milk shakes,</div><div align="center">or anything else like these,</div><div align="center">can cause the dreadful condition,</div><div align="center">simply known as... brain freeze!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-49504250964603477362012-02-17T19:11:00.000-08:002012-02-17T19:12:30.010-08:00My Face<div align="center"><strong><u>My Face</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">My dad said to I,</div><div align="center">"Son, keep your eyes peeled,</div><div align="center">and your chin up high."</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Mom said, when I was young,</div><div align="center">"Son, open your ears,</div><div align="center">and kindly bite your tongue."</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">My school teacher always said,</div><div align="center">"Keep your nose to the grindstone."</div><div align="center">and, "Do you have rocks in your head?"</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">The pastor preached every week,</div><div align="center">"Grit your teeth, my boy,</div><div align="center">and always turn the other cheek."</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">With all these folks on my case,</div><div align="center">I just want to know...</div><div align="center">how I can ever save face.</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-75719786566193328472012-02-17T18:55:00.002-08:002012-03-20T08:51:05.104-07:00Fingers Crossed<div align="center"><strong><u>Fingers Crossed</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Cross your fingers,</div><div align="center">if you want good luck,</div><div align="center">and hope you don't,</div><div align="center">get hit by a truck.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Cross your heart,</div><div align="center">when you make a vow,</div><div align="center">you'll keep your word,</div><div align="center">from then 'til now.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Cross your eyes,</div><div align="center">and you will see double,</div><div align="center">to walk straight,</div><div align="center">you will have some trouble.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Cross your legs,</div><div align="center">when you really gotta go,</div><div align="center">and wave your hand,</div><div align="center">so your teacher will know!<strong><u></u></strong></div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-20717639934520917852012-02-17T18:28:00.002-08:002012-03-20T08:51:51.479-07:00SWAT<div align="center"><strong><u>SWAT</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Not a day goes by,</div><div align="center">I don't smack spider or fly.</div><div align="center">Every mosquito and gnat,</div><div align="center">is sure to go splat.</div><div align="center">No bee stands a chance,</div><div align="center">nor do the ants.</div><div align="center">I use a rag or cloth,</div><div align="center">to rub out a moth.</div><div align="center">I flatten each centipede,</div><div align="center">and all earwigs indeed.</div><div align="center">It's all part of my scheme,</div><div align="center">as a member of... the SWAT team!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-80286242414921094902012-02-17T18:23:00.004-08:002012-03-20T08:53:25.401-07:00Fickle<div align="center"><strong><u>Fickle</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I'm deep in a jar,</div><div align="center">but even worse by far,</div><div align="center">I'm in a bitter brine.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">And it's true indeed,</div><div align="center">I'm squished against a seed,</div><div align="center">in a light greenish slime.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I have a small hunch,</div><div align="center">I could be going crunch,</div><div align="center">and I'm not being fickle.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">'Cause here comes a kid,</div><div align="center">who's taking off the lid...</div><div align="center">I'm really in a pickle! </div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-28786094073542163082012-02-17T18:12:00.000-08:002012-02-17T18:12:50.151-08:00Cakes<div align="center"><strong><u>Cakes</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Too tall Paul,</div><div align="center">always banged his head,</div><div align="center">until he ate,</div><div align="center">a lot of short bread.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Skinny Minnie,</div><div align="center">looked like a garden rake,</div><div align="center">until she ate,</div><div align="center">a whole bunch of pound cake.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Lovely Linda,</div><div align="center">was always in a pleasant mood.</div><div align="center">That was because,</div><div align="center">she did always eat angel food.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Rotten Ronny,</div><div align="center">was always so mean and rude.</div><div align="center">That was because,</div><div align="center">he always ate devil's food.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Auntie Louise,</div><div align="center">likes her tea cake with coffee.</div><div align="center">But Uncle Jack,</div><div align="center">likes coffee cake with his tea.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">For each person,</div><div align="center">there are different cakes.</div><div align="center">When you find yours...</div><div align="center">eat it for goodness sakes!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"></div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-60769356819786985642012-02-17T17:57:00.000-08:002012-02-17T17:57:24.069-08:00Rich<div align="center"><u><strong>Rich</strong></u></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I wiggle and squirm,</div><div align="center">like a slippery worm.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I writhe and twist,</div><div align="center">like a boy gettin' kissed.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I bend and stretch,</div><div align="center">like an acrobat catch.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I reach and wrench,</div><div align="center">like avoiding a stench.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Give me a fork or spoon,</div><div align="center">I'm dancing like a loon!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Hand me a comb or brush,</div><div align="center">and do it in a rush!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Toss me a branch or stick,</div><div align="center">and hurry make it quick!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Oh, I'll try to make you rich,</div><div align="center">if you'd please- just scratch this itch!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><u></u></div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-76824852724408938662012-02-17T17:47:00.000-08:002012-02-17T17:47:56.539-08:00Wishes<div align="center"><strong><u>Wishes</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were horses,</div><div align="center">beggars would ride.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were blue kites,</div><div align="center">children would glide.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were play grounds,</div><div align="center">children would slide.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were seek games,</div><div align="center">children would hide.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were oceans,</div><div align="center">they'd splash the tide.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">If wishes were sunshine,</div><div align="center">they'd be outside.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">But wishes aren't horses,</div><div align="center">playgrounds or blue kites,</div><div align="center">nor oceans or sunshine,</div><div align="center">or seek games at night.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Wishes are inside you,</div><div align="center">where no one else can see,</div><div align="center">and wishes will make you,</div><div align="center">whatever you want to be.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">So wish with your whole heart,</div><div align="center">and wish with your whole mind,</div><div align="center">believe in your wishes,</div><div align="center">they'll come true you will find.</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-13938499850462942442011-08-02T20:06:00.001-07:002014-09-23T08:43:21.780-07:00The Happy Hippy<div align="center">
<strong><u>The Happy Hippy</u></strong></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
This is the ballad</div>
<div align="center">
of the happy hippy,</div>
<div align="center">
who now leads a life</div>
<div align="center">
that's not so trippy.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
He's traded in his</div>
<div align="center">
hemp shoes and socks,</div>
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for his weekend pair</div>
<div align="center">
of Birkenstocks.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
His V.W. bus</div>
<div align="center">
is long put away.</div>
<div align="center">
He drives a "green" Subaru now,</div>
<div align="center">
day after day.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
And that really bright</div>
<div align="center">
spotted tie dye?</div>
<div align="center">
He's traded that in</div>
<div align="center">
for suit and tie.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
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As for the round wire</div>
<div align="center">
John Lennon glasses.</div>
<div align="center">
He's got contacts now</div>
<div align="center">
and joined the masses.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
His hair was once</div>
<div align="center">
a long pony tail,</div>
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but it's trimmed monthly now</div>
<div align="center">
without fail.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
He never left home</div>
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without his colorful beads,</div>
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now it's his PDA</div>
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and cell phone that he needs.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
All the Beatles music</div>
<div align="center">
he does still applaud,</div>
<div align="center">
but no longer vinyl</div>
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it's on his ipod.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center">
It's ballroom now</div>
<div align="center">
not the disco dance,</div>
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and Tommy slacks</div>
<div align="center">
not bell-bottom pants.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
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And the handkerchief headband</div>
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is long long gone.</div>
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It's a visor now</div>
<div align="center">
when he gets his golf game on.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center">
Yes, times have certainly changed</div>
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and with that he's fine.</div>
<div align="center">
He still says "goodbye"</div>
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and flashes the peace sign.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<strong><u></u></strong></div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-23336341485634390582011-07-28T19:57:00.000-07:002011-07-28T19:57:46.786-07:00The Drive<div align="center"><strong><u>The Drive</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">At all cost,</div><div align="center">hope the keys are lost.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Lock the doors,</div><div align="center">and sweat from your pores.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Buckle your belt,</div><div align="center">to avoid bruise and welt.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Tighten your grip,</div><div align="center">as your heart starts to skip.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Try not to shout,</div><div align="center">as she backs the car out.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
You'll turn white as a sheet,</div><div align="center">when she starts down the street.<br />
<br />
</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Of something else she's thinking,</div><div align="center">and her blinkers sure not blinking.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
As your blood rushes,</div><div align="center">the gas pedal she crushes.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Will you meet your fate?</div><div align="center">She's on the interstate.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Your blood pressure begins to rise,</div><div align="center">as down the highway she flies.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
The exit's ahead,</div><div align="center">slow down or we're dead.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
You have a fright,</div><div align="center">as she runs a red light.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
You're finally at the store,</div><div align="center">you just can't take it anymore.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
She cruises the lot,</div><div align="center">looking for a spot.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
"There's one!" she shout's with a grin.</div><div align="center">She punches it and whips right in.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br />
Hit the brakes,</div><div align="center">for pity sakes!</div><div align="center">Grandma's at the wheel!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-33381256729865097732011-07-09T21:21:00.001-07:002017-04-18T11:11:32.235-07:00Bait<div align="center">
<strong><u>Bait</u></strong></div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
You can use a small dry fly,</div>
<div align="center">
on a number two hook.</div>
<div align="center">
With good casting,</div>
<div align="center">
you can hit any hole in the brook.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
A shiny new lure,</div>
<div align="center">
works great in a pond.</div>
<div align="center">
Of the red stripey ones,</div>
<div align="center">
I am rather fond.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
Use a grasshopper,</div>
<div align="center">
when you're out on the lake.</div>
<div align="center">
If you're scared of a live one,</div>
<div align="center">
use one that's fake.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
For deep sea fishing,</div>
<div align="center">
you use something called chum.</div>
<div align="center">
If you don't catch anything,</div>
<div align="center">
do <u>not</u> eat some.</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
A friend once claimed,</div>
<div align="center">
good luck with some Limburger cheese.</div>
<div align="center">
All I could say to that was,</div>
<div align="center">
"Oh for give me a please!"</div>
<div align="center">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
But I have found,</div>
<div align="center">
all fish love to swaller,</div>
<div align="center">
a great big, fat and juicy-</div>
<div align="center">
night crawler!</div>
Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-25113107618770691062011-07-09T15:22:00.000-07:002011-07-09T15:22:28.680-07:00Tool<div align="center"><strong><u>Tool</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It'll scrape old gum,</div><div align="center">off the bottom of your shoe.</div><div align="center">Oh, but that's not the only,</div><div align="center">thing it will do.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's a nice little screwdriver,</div><div align="center">and can hammer small nails.</div><div align="center">It's also great for digging out dirt,</div><div align="center">under fingernails.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">You can use it to pry,</div><div align="center">off most any lid.</div><div align="center">It's good for stirring mud-</div><div align="center">just ask any kid.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I've used one several times,</div><div align="center">to chip up ice,</div><div align="center">and a banana's,</div><div align="center">easy for it to slice.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Some people have used them,</div><div align="center">to pick open locks,</div><div align="center">And I always keep one,</div><div align="center">in my tackle box.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I don't know how,</div><div align="center">I'd live my life,</div><div align="center">without having access-</div><div align="center">to a butter knife!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6515174583285207363.post-9986716741572507852011-07-09T12:37:00.000-07:002011-07-09T12:37:52.516-07:00Breakfast<div align="center"><strong><u>Breakfast</u></strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's a light golden brown,</div><div align="center">and it's kind of sticky.</div><div align="center">Keeping it off your chin,</div><div align="center">is kinda tricky.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's really rich and thick,</div><div align="center">with a nice sweet flavor,</div><div align="center">I keep some on my fingers,</div><div align="center">for an afternoon snack to savor.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">Pour it on your pancakes,</div><div align="center">waffles or mashed potatoes,</div><div align="center">but never, ever waste it,</div><div align="center">on stewed tomatoes.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">It's good in oatmeal,</div><div align="center">and if you have grits you'll need it.</div><div align="center">Pour a lot in your bowl,</div><div align="center">so you can actually eat it!</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">On thing I learned is,</div><div align="center">keep it out of your hair,</div><div align="center">or you'll have to take a bath,</div><div align="center">and wash everywhere.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">So just as sure,</div><div align="center">as a saddle has a stirrup,</div><div align="center">for my breakfast,</div><div align="center">I'm having maple syrup!</div>Flominichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10989052165870654989noreply@blogger.com0