Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Well, I Think It's Funny

I walked past the sorcery shop today.  The mystic was outside and she said, "Are you going to the psychic fair this weekend?"  I said, "I don't know.  You tell me."

I was nauseous, had a fever, body aches and was fatigued.  I feel better now though.  I went to the rifle range and had my flu shot.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

If you want a nice sarcophagus, you have to urn it.

With all these medicine commercials everywhere, I feel like I'm in Adville!

I'm not playing records anymore.  And that's vinyl.

I was looking for land in a real estate book.  I found lots.

I asked my dad if he'd take me to the horse races.  He said, "You bet!"

They were passing out bodies at the morgue.  It was a dead give away.

I bought a portrait of George Washington.  It was just a buck.

Can you wake up on the wrong side... of a round bed?

Police search empty murder scene.  There was no body there.

There's a typhoon predicted.  It's the wave of the future.

I'm drinking pop cause I'm soda thirsty.

When it comes to passing a drug test- I'm a whiz.

I'm studying classical music.  I think I've got a Handel on it.

My friend has a successful rock quarry but he never takes it for granite.

I was ignorant.  I just didn't know it.

I spilled coffee on my computer.  It was a java update.