Pirate

Pirate

I've wanted to be a pirate,

for my entire life.

I told my mom,

but she said it would just lead to strife.

"You'd have to cut off a leg,

and wear one of wood.

You wouldn't be able to run,

or play ball very good."

"You'd have to poke out your eye,

and wear a black patch.

You couldn't swing a bat very well,

and forget playing catch."

"You'd need to chop off your hand,

and put on a rusty hook."

You couldn't play football.

You could just stand there and look."

"Then you'd need a smelly parrot,

to ride your shoulder.

And you know you can't have a pet,

until you're much older.

"You'd have to live on a ship,

that was always on the ocean.

And remember how your stomach is,

with any rocking motion?"

"You'd never have to take a bath.

That wouldn't bother you.

But you'd have plenty of enemies,

and your friends would be few."

"Why have you wanted to be a pirate,

for your entire life?"

"Well you see mom,

I just really, really... want to eat with a knife."