Bait

Bait

You can use a small dry fly,

on a number two hook.

With good casting,

you can hit any hole in the brook.

A shiny new lure,

works great in a pond.

Of the red stripey ones,

I am rather fond.

Use a grasshopper,

when you're out on the lake.

If you're scared of a live one,

use one that's fake.

For deep sea fishing,

you use something called chum.

If you don't catch anything,

do not eat some.

A friend once claimed,

good luck with some Limburger cheese.

All I could say to that was,

"Oh for give me a please!"

But I have found,

all fish love to swaller,

a great big, fat and juicy-

night crawler!

Tool

Tool

It'll scrape old gum,

off the bottom of your shoe.

Oh, but that's not the only,

thing it will do.

It's a nice little screwdriver,

and can hammer small nails.

It's also great for digging out dirt,

under fingernails.

You can use it to pry,

off most any lid.

It's good for stirring mud-

just ask any kid.

I've used one several times,

to chip up ice,

and a banana's,

easy for it to slice.

Some people have used them,

to pick open locks,

And I always keep one,

in my tackle box.

I don't know how,

I'd live my life,

without having access-

to a butter knife!

Breakfast

Breakfast

It's a light golden brown,

and it's kind of sticky.

Keeping it off your chin,

is kinda tricky.

It's really rich and thick,

with a nice sweet flavor,

I keep some on my fingers,

for an afternoon snack to savor.

Pour it on your pancakes,

waffles or mashed potatoes,

but never, ever waste it,

on stewed tomatoes.

It's good in oatmeal,

and if you have grits you'll need it.

Pour a lot in your bowl,

so you can actually eat it!

On thing I learned is,

keep it out of your hair,

or you'll have to take a bath,

and wash everywhere.

So just as sure,

as a saddle has a stirrup,

for my breakfast,

I'm having maple syrup!

Brush, Floss, Swish

Brush, Floss, Swish

Betty Rush,

will not brush.

Johnny Ross,

will not floss.

Timmy Nish,

will not swish.

They all got,

some tooth rot,

and won't smile,

for a while.

Now this is sad,

but it's the truth.

The dentist pulled...

every tooth.

Stuff

Stuff

There's some string in here,
some twist ties and dead batteries,
Scotch tape, rubber bands,
and a bunch of mystery keys.

Here's an old butter knife,
a nail and eight screws,
and look, here's a pamphlet,
for an Alaskan cruise!

There's some pliers in here,
with a needle nose,
a red bush pruner,
and a washer for the hose.

Here's a green pencil,
with it's eraser gone,
a jar with six marbles,
and a black chess pawn.

Right here's a book of matches,
and a rumpled road map,
two thumbtacks, a yellow kazoo,
and a new mouse trap.

There's a candle in here,
to see in the dark,
some leather shoelaces,
and a torn bookmark.

You and I could sit here longer,
and name even more,
but you probably have the same stuff,
in your junk drawer!

Up High

Up High

I'm way up high on the top,

and the down slope is steep.

I fear if I slip, 

I will end below in a heap.

All the way up,

I was afraid of the climb.

Now there's no more turning back.

This is the time.

I hold on tight,

and sit right down,

then think of "Jack",

who broke his crown.

The summer breeze,

whistles in my ears.

I close my eyes,

and suppress my fears.

Now the ones behind,

start to shove.

I release my grip,

and zip from above.

I scream all the way down,

with my mouth open wide.

I hit the ground and race back.

Wow, I love this slide!

Dirty Gertie

Dirty Gertie

This is the story,

of a girl named Gertie,

and let me tell you,

that girl was dirty!

Her shoes were so full of dirt,

her feet barely fit.

Her pants were so stiff,

she couldn't bend to sit.

She would just stand there,

or lie right down.

She wouldn't bathe,

'cause she thought she'd drown. 

Her shirt was so filthy,

you couldn't tell what color it was,

and her hair was really tangled,

and full of moldy fuzz.

Not only was she dirty,

Gert really stunk,

she was often mistaken,

for a waterlogged skunk.

She would never wash up,

for lunch or dinner.

If she scrubbed her dirt off,

she'd be much thinner.

On the back of her neck,

there grew a flower.

It had been there months,

remember, Gert didn't shower.

It goes without saying,

that to her mother this was a pain.

But her mother solved the problem...

she left Gert out in the rain!