The Seashore

The Seashore

When I was five

I was buried alive

down at the sandy beach.

When I was five

I was buried alive

by my older sister "The Peach".

When I was ten

we went to the beach again

and this time I was bigger.

When I was ten

we went to the beach again

and this time I buried my sister.

Siblings

Siblings

Shes's sometimes

Irritating              

and Sometimes                 

  a Tattling cur.             

  But aftEr all,                                    

  I do Really love her.            

He's a Big                                      

Rotten                  

Ogor.                    

And at Times,                               

I wanna pusH him from a limb.               

But aftEr all,                               

I do Really love him.       

Petals

Petals

Pluck it's petals,

when you pick a daisy.

It passes a summer day,

that's hot and lazy.

He loves me...

He loves me not...

He loves me...

He loves me not...

Do this over,

until all the petals are gone,

and you'll know the answer,

from the petal you're on.

He loves me...

He loves me not...

He loves me.

That's what I thought!

Guess What

Guess What

It's got wrinkled baggy skin,

and a great big middle,

a stiff stubbly chin,

usually covered with spittle.

It has huge tree trunk legs,

and big beefy arms,

very poor hygiene,

and is rather short on charms.

It has a loud baritone voice,

along with a shrill whistle.

It's bad tempered and dangerous,

as a poisonous thistle.

It will chase you up and down,

and make you sweat.

You'll learn lessons in pain,

you won't soon forget.

It's a terrifying beast,

and a cruel creature.

Many name's it's been given,

but most call it- Gym teacher!

Apple Sauce

Apple Sauce

If an apple a day,

keeps the doctor away,

will a bowl of apple sauce,

keep away my grumpy boss?

The Bath

The Bath

Did you use soap?

The answer is nope.

Did you use shampoo?

No, I didn't want to.

Did you brush with toothpaste?

Ha! Time is one thing I don't waste.

Did you wash with the rag?

No, I'd rather gag.

Did you wash your neck?

Nope, do you wanna check?

What about behind your ears?

I haven't washed there in years.

Did you scrub your back?

Does a cow say "quack"?

How about your hands and elbows?

Nope. Neither one of those.

Did you wash your feet?

No, and neither my seat.

Did you clean between your toes?

Nope, but that's the way it goes.

You were in the tub for over an hour!

Yep, but I sure don't smell like a flower.

Don't you want to be clean?

Why? What do you mean?

Don't you want to impress the girls?

What!? I did do this for the girls.

You'll never get a girl bathing that way!

I know, I want all the girls to stay away!

Butter Fingers

Butter Fingers

I put butter on my bread,

I put butter on my biscuit,

I put butter on my toast,

because that's the way I fix it.

I put butter on my scone,

I put butter on my muffin.

Is anything better than butter?

Oh no, there ain't nothin'!

I put butter on my bagel,

I put butter on my pancakes.

To make anything better,

a little butter's all it takes.

The stick butter I only spread,

The bottled butter I never squirt.

Oh, there's butter on my finger.

*CHOMP*CRUNCH* Ouch that hurt!